Welsh poet Dylan Thomas is one of my favourite writers. I love his way with words. The poem of his that I like best is called “Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night”. It’s the last line I love, really-
Rage, RAGE against the dying of the light!
In the interest of keeping things honest, I’ve had a cranky day today. Since my first day of chemo my body has been aching on and off- but more on than off. And my guts keep churning. I hate feeling ill and I hate feeling useless.
I went to the pub for lunch with my mum, which is all of a few hundred metres away- and downhill- and was exhausted when we got there.
I’m not looking for sympathy or advice or any response at all really. I just wanna be honest and paint a true picture.
I still know God is good. I still feel His perfect peace. I’m just tired and sore and cranky, and I’m not going gentle, I’m raging against the dying of the light.
The cold hard truth is, I could die a lot sooner than what I would’ve hoped. I know, none of us knows how or when we will shuffle off this mortal coil (Sorry Mr. Taylor but I still don’t get why Shakespeare called it a coil). But I could be dying a lot sooner than your average 41 year old Aussie woman.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light!
Death and dying aside, my current reality is that I just don’t have the movement & energy I usually enjoy. I wanted to call on a friend the other day, a short walk away and usually no problem, but just thinking about it made me feel exhausted.
Anyway you get the point. I just needed to vent. Seriously, please don’t feel the need to respond, especially if it’s to try and “help” me with some advice. At the moment it would just piss me off!!!
Just being honest!